The women whose stories appear in the book  are just like you and me. They put aside or
postponed their own goals and dreams for others in their lives or they were waiting for the
right time to be happy. Of course there never is a right time.

There were different reasons for postponing happiness but all had the same result. Happiness
became a state that they could only see as a future event. Their present lives were unfulfilled
and unhappy. You may see someone you know, even yourself, in these stories. Let's meet a
few of these women.

Chapter 1.
The Key to Relationships; Never Let Any One Person Be in Charge of Your Happiness
In rural parts of India, there is a blessing that a mother gives to her daughter on the eve of the
daughter’s wedding. Holding her daughter’s hand between her own two, the mother says:
“My daughter, never let any one person be in charge of your happiness.”
It is good advice for all women but too many of us don't listen to this strong bit of wisdom. Do
you believe that someone else can provide happiness for you? If you do, you’re not alone.

Debora and Sara were like many women who go into relationships believing that the men they
love will automatically be able to make them happy. Believing this fairy tale is one of the most
emotionally costly mistakes you can make. No one can make you happy, and you should not
assign that job to anyone but you. The ability to be happy should fall squarely on your
shoulders. Depending on someone else for your own joy will leave you constantly disappointed
and frustrated.

Chapter 2.
The Key to Avoiding Being a Have-Not: To Have and Have Not Isn’t Just the Title of an Old
Movie
How do you define a good, satisfying life? How do you see success in a career or in financial
terms as it relates to you personally? Everyone has a different image of what being successful
means. We all want more in our lives but some people live their entire lives complaining about
what they don’t have.

Belinda and Elise are two women who never allow themselves to be satisfied. They buy into
the Madison Avenue definition of what, how, how much, and when you can be happy. They
spend their lives bemoaning what they don’t have, never appreciating what is there in front of
them to enjoy. The loss of prime living time because of their obsession with not having what
they want, or not feeling successful enough, keeps them locked in frustrated unhappiness.
Unfortunately the stark reality of believing you are a “have-not” becomes  a self-fulfilling
destiny. Eventually,  what you “have-not” is  
happiness.                                                                                   

Chapter 3.
The Key to Good Parenting: Crumbs From Caesar's Table - A Mommy Tale
The word Mom shouldn’t be synonymous with the word sacrifice, yet that is a common
connection. The reality of sacrificing your all for your children is another way of putting your
own happiness somewhere in the future. It is the same as trying to survive on crumbs from a
feast for which you not only bought and prepared all the food but served it to other people
while you willingly accepted the crumbs left over from their plates! But ...how long can you
survive on crumbs?

Michelle and Janet are the mothers who willing postpone their lives, deplete their savings and
energy, turn away from adult relationship, and completely do without any of life’s pleasures to
make sure their children are happy. They allow themselves to live on the leftover crumbs of
their children's lives.

Chapter 4.
The Key to Becoming Your Own Person: The Good Little Girl No Matter Your Age
Women will automatically sacrifice their own lives in order to be seen as  good. Men, on the
other hand, see themselves as  good without personal sacrifice and do not missing a beat living
their own lives and dreams. The same is not true for women.

Estelle and Anjali felt that they had to be "good;" perfect daughters and sisters. They are
considered the good little girls even though they are women in their late thirties.  For their
parents, for their siblings, each woman is the go-to person when anything needs to be taken
care of. But good little girls, it seems, are good for everyone but themselves.

Chapter 5.
The Key to Love and Self-Acceptance: I Don’t Deserve to Be Happy Until the Thin Lady Sings
It is a simple fact learned in any introduction to psychology class: When you think you look
good, you feel good. Everything in life seems a bit better because you feel good about your
looks. Feeling satisfied with your appearance makes a tremendous amount of difference in
how you present yourself to the world. Some women live their entire lives on their perception
of their physical selves.

How do you feel about body image and, more importantly, how do you relate that feeling to
your own life? For some women, the way they think they look influences their daily lives
adversely. It impacts everything they do. The most common issue women have with body
image is their weight. Every day happiness hinges on what the scale in their bathrooms tells
them. Kristen was one of them; she allowed a number on the scale to have power over her life.

Chapter 6.
The Key to Saving Yourself: The Love of a Good Woman Will Not Change a Bad Man
Women have been trying to “save” bad men from themselves since before recorded time.
There were more than likely a few Cro-Magnon women who were sacrificing their own
existence trying to save their Cro-Magnon males from
dangerous addictions! I seriously wouldn’t doubt it. It is, unfortunately, a female thing.

No one has ever satisfactorily explained why any woman goes on the save-the-bad-man
campaign. Psychiatrists and sociologists certainly have their theories about why certain women
try to save men from themselves, and most of it centers on some supposed "emotional flaw" in
the women. But even the sanest, most reasonable women among us seem to have the idea
that their love, patience, and support will save someone who can’t or won’t save himself.

Beth and Lauren certainly believed this. They spent years, money, and wasted life
opportunities trying to save men who didn’t want to be saved from the addictions that were
consuming their lives. Finally Beth and Lauren became victims themselves.

                                                                            
                                                 now available at:              



Table of Contents
What's inside "And Then I'll Be Happy!"

Introduction

Foreword by Dr. Janet Taylor of  "The Today Show"

Happiness Quiz - Assessing Your Personal Happiness:  Is It Your  Priority?
20 questions designed to identify your happiness goals and provide solutions to achieve them.

Chapter 1.
The Key to Relationships: Never Let Any One Person Be in Charge of Your Happiness

Chapter 2.
The Key to Avoiding Being a Have-Not: To Have and Have Not Isn’t Just the Title of an Old
Movie

Chapter 3.
The Key to Good Parenting: Crumbs from Caesar’s Table—A Mommy Tale

Chapter 4.
The Key to Becoming Your Own Person: Being a Good Little Girl No Matter Your Age

Chapter 5.
The Key to Love and Self-Acceptance: I Don’t Deserve to Be Happy Until the Thin Lady Sings

Chapter 6.
The Key to Saving Yourself: The Love of a Good Woman Will Not Change a Bad Man

Chapter 7.
The Key to Allowing Your Dreams to Become Your Plans: When Someday Never Comes

Chapter 8.
The Key to Surviving an Affair: He’s Married . . .But Not to You

Chapter 9.
The Key to Saying No and Reclaiming Yourself: Has Anyone Here Seen My Life?

Chapter 10.
The Key to Trying: Just Doing It

Chapter 11.
The Key to Learning That Perfection Isn’t Happiness: The “Perfect” Woman Needs a Break!

Chapter 12.
The Key to Living Life Fully: Preparing for and Creating Your Own Opportunities

Chapter 13.
Happiness Insights: The Answers

Afterword: The (Finally) Attainable State of Happiness
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    AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!


         Meet the Women